Your Father
by tess4aria
Summary: My first fanfic! Sorry...it gets sentimental, but it is basically a lot of fatherson reflection and some fluff : This could be a oneshot, but it also may be a prologue to something interesting...we'll see!


This is actually my first fanfiction, so we'll see how it is...I tried, but I think it may have ended up being too sentimental-sorry!

This can be read as a oneshot, but I think I'll continue it in an interesting way-it could go many ways-this could just be the prologue!

Please R/R!

I own none of these fabulous characters..unfortunately...

**Your Father**

Twilight was beginning to envelop the land, pulling the world into that forboding state in which the shadows of individuals expand to cover everything. A small escape from this darkness existed in the form of a little cottage—an oasis in a forest's clearing, with welcoming light shining through its little windows like a lighthouse beacon, showing clearly that in this abode there existed happiness, contentment, friendship, acceptance—these were several of the emotions that struck the lone swordsman walking out of the forest, gazing upon the quaint little house.

The man sighed—he had been walking through the dark forest to give himself time to reflect on the strange twists and turns of his life. As this thought struck him, he chuckled to himself—TIME was one thing he had had enough of. However, the amount of his life in which he had been truly happy was so small (relatively), that he was somewhat stricken. Pausing, the man known as Kratos smiled to himself. Today…today he had been happy… and this past week, as well. For the first time in 14 years—he was happy.

Kratos walked along a little path to the left of the house to gaze upon the grave of his beloved. Kneeling down, he spoke of his concerns to the first person in his 4000 year life to understand him fully:

"How could Lloyd have forgiven me so easily? I left him when he was only three years old (however unintentionally) to be raised by another man. Why? Why couldn't I have looked further for him? I should have known, somewhere in my heart that my son… our son…would not give up his life so easily. His will to live is…so strong—just like yours. Even in death, I can feel your presence—your warmth and acceptance of everyone in this world.

Anna…you would be so proud of your son. He has inherited from you that strong truth that "every life has a purpose." Just as you once told me, he knows innately that "no life exists for the sole purpose of dying." Every life has a meaning, and finally, these sentiments are beginning to affect me. Heh...he…he really believes that my life has a purpose."

Staring off into the darkness for a moment, Kratos' face became more somber—"But—but how can I help him? He has done so much for me in the short time I've known him, yet I have done little more than hurt him and his friends. I wish I could have been there for him all throughout his life, playing the part of a strong, caring, supportive father. I honestly would have given anything to make him happy… but now… my appearance has caused him such grief and conflict.

And who am I to take his filial affection for Dirk? He…he has a father already…I shouldn't impose on his happiness. Maybe it would be better if I would just leave him alone—but..ugh! Damn my selfish feelings! Even if Lloyd doesn't need me…I _need _him. All of these years, I have been a shell—never showing emotions—never passionate, never happy, never crying—in fact, the only hint I ever gave of my negative feelings towards my life was shown that time I tried to commit suicide."

Giving a somewhat sardonic smirk, he continued with his soliloquy: "Too bad Mithos had to step in—of course, that wasn't because he cared for my well-being. He just didn't want his precious Origin seal to vanish, therefore hindering his plans. After that, he kept a close eye on me and I…I eventually stopped caring. I slipped into the monotonous, lonely lifestyle I led for so many years. I followed orders because I no longer cared enough to go against what I was told to do. When doing Yggdrassill's bidding, I felt relieved of the responsibility I had for my actions, and therefore I felt somewhat removed from my guilt.

However…this all changed when I met Lloyd. Suddenly—miraculously—life had meaning again. I wanted to make sure he lived—I wanted to protect him, as I'd failed to do before. Now I see, though…he has become such a strong man…and he has done it without me. He really hasn't…needed me… I'm probably just a hindrance in his life. Although he gives my life meaning, if I don't mean the same to him—well, I care too much for him to make him suffer my presence—the reminder of all those years of my absence from his life…"

Taking in a breath, Kratos looked up at the stars—the immense age of those beings above him always awed him, and he thought, subtly, of how this time of separation between himself and his son—those 14 years—were the smallest of moments in the lives of those celestial beings. If only he could go back to those nights when he would gaze at those stars with his little boy on his shoulders…

As if on cue, Kratos felt a presence behind him, and suddenly the arms of his grown son were wound around his neck. Laughing lightly at his father's gasp of surprise, Lloyd smiled and said: "This seems quite familiar, don't you think? …Despite the fact that I'm not sitting on your shoulders this time!"

Closing his eyes and smiling, Kratos said "Yes. I suppose you're a little to big for that now…"

"Oh yeah? Wanna bet?" Lloyd asked jokingly, poking his father in the side. Suddenly becoming more serious, the 17-year old boy walked in front of his father and turned to face him—his back to his mother's grave. "Um…could I talk to you for a second..D…Dad?"

Kratos flinched slightly. Even thought they had beaten Mithos together, and the truth about their relationship had been out for a while, Lloyd still didn't often address him in this manner. "Oh…uh… of course, Lloyd…" Kratos said, somewhat lamely.

"Well, I…I heard some of what you were saying earlier…"

Kratos was taken aback…although realizing now he should have expected it, he had been too absorbed in his memories to imagine being overheard at the time.

When Kratos did little more than look at the ground, Lloyd said: "I just need to let you know something, dad. You said that you need me to live…I—well, I don't know how to respond to that, except to tell you that these feelings are not all that unfamiliar to me…because…because I feel the same way! I need you, dad! How can you even imagine that I would be better off without you?

I…sure…Dirk's a great dad and all, but it's not the same! Even if my memories of you from when I was small aren't all that clear, they have left such a great impression on me. Why else would I be so in love with the stars?

I know I acted like I hated you when I thought you betrayed me, but that was because, even though I didn't know we were really family, I still felt we had a connection. I think I saw you as some sort of long-lost brother, a mentor or something…someone who could teach me and who genuinely cared about me.

I worked so much harder on my sword skills when you were around because I wanted you to be proud of me! At times, I would catch glimpses of pride in your eyes when you watched me, and even though at the time I decided I was seeing things, I lived for those times! You made me feel like I was more than some stupid kid I'd always been painted as. It was you who gave me the courage to stand up to those people, and even when you left us at the tower, I was confused, because I didn't truly believe you were evil. I always believed in you, and kept hidden in my heart the hope that you would return to us.

When I discovered you were my father, I was…well, angry at you for not telling me, and confused as to why you had turned against us in the first place, but…even before things were cleared up—before I knew the truth—I was thrilled. You, Kratos Aurion, hero of the Kharlon war, angel and my own personal hero and friend—were my father. Although I kept it a secret, discovering the truth made my life complete, and now, here we are. We're together at last."

Pausing, Lloyd took a step closer to his father. Kratos lifted his head and looked into his son's honest, loving eyes—so much like his mother's…

"You said that I would be better off without you…well, don't I get a say in this? Dad… I _need _you in my life. I want you to be there, to make up the lost time. Just because we've missed out on a few years together doesn't mean we should give up! You're my father! We can pick up right where we left off. Dad- there is so much I want to show you!

We have so many adventures in our lives ahead of us…so…please. Don't leave me. Do you think mom would have wanted that? Of course not. She wanted us to be happy. Please don't misinterpret mom's last wishes as Mithos misinterpreted Martel's. You have blamed yourself for the pain of the people of this world, and have punished yourself over and over. Don't you think it's about time for you to give yourself a break? You are a great person, dad…and…I…love you. I don't ever want you to leave me again."

At this point, Lloyd's voice cracked, and he let out a gasp as the normally stoic figure of his father pulled him towards himself with a strong, warm, gentle embrace. Lightly, Kratos kissed Lloyd on the head, and, tears rolling down his cheeks, whispered: "Okay Lloyd…I'll stay. Don't worry—I'll never leave you again. For all eternity, as long as we live…I will watch over you to ensure that you _don't die_. I love you so much my son…so much more than you could imagine…and…I thank you. Thank you for loving me, accepting me, and allowing me to be…your father."


End file.
